intensity

You never knew when you will lose someone, while you still own the person, cherished everything, be nice, so that when the person gone, u wouldn’t feel anything and eventually you will feel good though the person gone.

Good bye ikhwan, I hope u are doing fine over there.

I wish this week will end fast. I dun feel no any excitement or happiness. In fact, it has been really stressing after what happened to me and my friends. I craving for serenity, I’ve lost everything. My heart is bleeding..
Good bye another friend.
Perhaps my own mistake, I keep playing with the word sumpah. I promise to myself I will not make any friend, any good friend, anyone that I will sacrifice everything, comrade for particular. I dun want to make any closely relationship, someone that I will help with full of effort and no regret everything nice that I’ve done.

And yet, I did.

I love my friend and I put full of effort just to please him. From financial, to work (yes almost all of his assignment, oral, course project, and etc) my work and my idea. Without ever expect him to give me in return. Yes, I treat him better than I treat layen. And yeah, what I did was totally unacceptable and unforgiving. I know I take the blame.

See, how sumpah can makan diri.

Now, I have to face him every day for the 3 months, hopefully, he will change room next semester. Enigma- I feel strange when apparently I am happy. I dun have to please anyone anymore. I dun have to feel guilty if I can’t help him, and I dun have to suffer from fatal fatigue if cant help him. And yes, I dun have to borrow anyone phone to reply and call me.
Yet, I still have them.
You, yang baik hati tu. I am sorry for keep telling the same story every day, I know you have your own problem, you have lodsa of other stuff to think. Thanks for everything, u help me to overcome this matter which was crucially took my happiness. And yes, we should have someday. Let’s laugh, jump, scream and do everything that fun.

I wish this sem would faster.

Just like previous semester, everything spinning rapidly, in blink of eye, everything’s done. And so I hope for this sem. I hate my 2nd sem. Life totally screwed over here. And for now, every time I pray, I pray I can be strong to overcome everything. Hmm.. just like previous year.
And now I feel I am 15.