smile.

I know, I have had not been writing decently on my blog. This blog used to be a written journal for myself in the future to contemplate and to jot down all the memories that I have and had, so that in the future, I wouldnt missed out anything. Time moving really fast, Im already in"the Uncle" phase and yet, to be called "abang" instead of "uncle", I dun think, im quiet yet ready to be called as "uncle" it feels like, not the right time.my cousin came, and showed her 3 weeks lovely and adorable baby, tiny and innocent. The joy and laughter of having baby was endless when she shared the story of her delivering the baby. seriously, Im kinda thankful to be male.

Im graduating next year, around december, and havent yet to have any plan. I know, this indecisiveness is yet to be answered since I have no idea what-to-do in the future, I try to be more optimistic in the future. well, at least I took a step ahead from my friend to volunteer in various organization and learn more about the reality of life, without the shed of my family's assistance. and yes, Its scary.

One of my friend graduated from her nursing school, and started her career in a very very young age. well, it wasnt her choice, let alone to be her dream to be a nurse. yet, circumstances doesnt allows to change the past, and instead she extolled the resilient and deals with future. Im kinda proud of her whenever she shared all the stories in the hospital. Yet, not everything she's been doing is fun, I was once remember she told me about  her senior who kept on looking at her mistake (s), trust me the world out there is scary.

I still can delay my graduation, and finished it another 3 semester, however the holy university seems empty. there were few moments i was like, "what the hell am I doing here?" moment (s), and was wondering the purpose of surrounds myself with the intelligentsia with worth every pearls in the world. Yet, that very little amount people, that really wanted to study makes me wonder, why exactly they are here?

Truth to be told, my course does not designs to fulfill the industrial demand. it mend for students to alter the worldviews, or scientifically we would term it as "epistemology". Thus, in subjected to the relativity of the knowledge, it deems to variety in choosing all kinds of interdisciplinary sciences. Nevertheless, the only problems that I have is, my course mostly likely to be labelled as Politics (Politkke) when apparently, it has nothing to do with Politikke, yet to be political science. the variety of notions to produce the kinda of scholars that would help to develop intellectual as savior of ignorance. yes, based on our qualification, we could only and trained to analyze all problematic by the dominant values and try to integrate to middle path of both extreme. The moderation that espouses the virtues of life. The eudominia.

That's the problem, the skills may not qualified me to be part of the corporate and materialism world that I've been always dreaming. Ya, to conform with whatever the society's need in terms of material. Even for this semester ive been struggling to ensure my quality of answer, thought, and all the assessment to qualify to be part of the intellectual. My lecture (s) are scary and sometimes, I wonder whether their agree to whatever I said, argued, and resonate in the class. 

sometimes, most of the time, I wish, i still in my mother's womb and stays there forever. embarking in the real world, can be really scary.

Phil Collin- Against all odd