life is simple, i tend to make it miserable.

my past written not in fantastic way. not even close to the best life that everyone would die for. i mean, im pathetic. pathetic to the point of the most pathetic among the pathetic im the president. the invisible president the supreme one. my life is miserable. and perhaps its written in that way. maybe, im not cool nor awesome. like everyone around me. the more i think about it, the more....life been so easy for everyone around. the way they expressed it makes me contemplate, do i really need a turning point? or, its time to pull through?

i did a mistake in the past. and as the consequence, the vibrant still there. and i never forgive myself. never. the mistake still there, one of the best relationship that i had, and i break the bonding, and now, most of time i kept thinking and sadly it never ends. never will ends.

and im feel sorry for myself. not for the mistake that i've done. but, for not being able to be ur friend. of course u wont know about this. u dun even care about this. because, i was really stupid, and prologue this stupid matter, the worst part, u dun even care about this.though i did ask for apology and u already accepted. the worst part, i always hoping eventually we will be best friend like how we used to. nevertheless, nothing happened. its stagnant and always remained that way.

and, i feel sorry for myself.

i try to alter words, yet, most of time.. i kept it in draft rather than sent it to you. because im afraid, it annoyed u more. the hatred is there. will never go away.


and u have no idea, how terrible i miss you.


i miss u friend, will u ever miss me the same i am missing you?
i bet u dun.
and u wont.


thanks for making my life more miserable.

sorry, aftermath i dun really trust anyone. i dun really want anyone to be my friend.

as u can see. i prefer to be alone.
being alone is an utter bliss.
trust me.

i dun want to be anyone's friend anymore. and god have granted it. be thankful jijol.

life has it own karma, trust me. dun make a promise if tend u break it. because, when it turns around you. you will never be human again. and u will never feel the happiness as much as has now. let it remained that way.

trust me.