siapa kata jadi mahasiswa senang.?

im in the field of developing social. to be precised human sciences is indeed the best course for those that have severe allergy on numbers. math to be exact. human sciences concerned about idealist and realist. and they, i can say quiet genius in predicting social. imagine they lived thousand years back, and have the idea of blue print and concerned about the future. however...

anyway, i thought by now, i'll be more serious on studying, especially now. yet, ................

the dots explain everything. well at least, i try to focus in class. but, i think most of the time, i cant stop finding out my lectures flaws. and its really hard to stop. especially on lectures that always emphasize on english. with a very very pretentious accent, and... *my son always post something IN facebook* english i tunggang langgang jugak, haish. tapi dengan accent pekat british macam tu, susahlahkan?

and then, my history text book. hmmm.. there's not even a single picture. because, the text book, consist of articles from history experts. they tried to explain everything in the simplest word. unfortunately, most of the terms and sentences are mend solely for experts on their area.

or maybe im too dumb to understand everything.

dear Allah s.w.t, please give me strength to continue in seeking for knowledge.

anyway, i might be changing my major. from history to political sc. history used to be really interesting. it used to be really easy. anyway, now, i think i like political sc more. compared to history. both are concerned about same thing, just from different angle.

hmmmm..

and, belum lagi touch on parent's expectation.

i guess im lucky, because my parent never interfere my study. i decide what i want to do, and they will never said anything. and the best part, well at least, i can make them really proud when anyone ask emak about her kids. well, ok lah, semua bagus. and alhamdulillah for her.

and for us ma, we are suffering here. eventhough im not a medic student, but when it comes to study, there are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many things to read, so many theories to memorize and sooooooooooooooooooooooo many works to do. and sometimes, i prefer to put everything aside, because i cant take ittt anymoreeee!! and of course lectures's expectation. they want us to be competent. to be well intellectual. to know everything that happening in the world.

emak, untuk pengetahuan emak saya penat duduk sini.

perhaps im not ready to handle any obligation yet. penatlahhhh!!